😂 80+ Best Deez Nuts Jokes To Make Your Dirty Friends Laugh (2024)

• 🥜 What are Deez Nuts Jokes?
• 🤣 Funny Deez Nuts Jokes
• 😝 Good Deez Nuts Jokes
• 😉 List of Deez Nuts Jokes

What are Deez Nuts Jokes?

“Deez Nuts” refers to a man’s crown jewels, nuts or testicl*s to be blunt. Randomly slipping the words, “deez nuts” into conversations has become a viral trend in Tik Tok lately, but deez nuts have been around since the 90s. In fact, the phrase “deez nuts” was first used by rapper Dr. Dre! How hip hop is that?

The fun with deez nuts jokes is setting up your innocent victims then bam! You hit them with your best deez nuts punchline. For example, how can something as simple as the word “candy” go from “candy” to “Can deez nuts fit in your mouth?”

Thanks to text messages, online memes and Tik Tok videos, deez nuts jokes have become the gift that keeps on giving and continues to make people laugh whether they want to or not!

👉 Do you prefer Dad Jokes? Follow the link!

History of Deez Nuts

Deez nuts jokes may have originated from a Dr. Dre album and gained people’s attention during the 90s, but it returned to the spotlight when in 2015, an Instagram user named WelvenDaGreat posted a video telling a deez nuts joke to a friend on the phone which became a viral internet sensation!

The next hilarious and bizarre turn is when a US presidential named Deez Nuts went against Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump and scored third place in public polls! It turns out that Deez Nuts was actually a 15 year old boy who didn’t like both Clinton and Trump.

Today, deez nuts jokes have taken a new life in Tik Tok with people trying to outdo each other in making the funniest videos showing people pranking their families and friends with deez nuts jokes!

People just can’t get enough of viral deez nuts videos and memes!

How to Reply to Deez Nuts Jokes?

You’re bound to laugh the first few times you fall for deez nuts jokes. Even if they’re not funny, you end up laughing because it caught you unaware or because it’s so stupid. But your patience will also run out if your friends keep on tricking you with different deez nuts jokes. Once you really get sick of deez nuts jokes, you can fight back too!

Here are some ways to reply to a deez nuts joke:

• Tell them that their delivery needs to be better.
• Say that you don’t get it and ask them to explain.
• Just stay silent with eye contact.
• Clap back and say, “Oh really? Then let’s see those nuts!”
• Reply with, “Where? They are too small to see.”

👉 If you want other icebreakers aside from deez nuts jokes, take a look at these suggestions for conversation starters!

Funny Deez Nuts Jokes

Deez Nuts jokes are such a hit because nothing is more hilarious than tricking people into falling for these crude jokes and watching your friends’ faces go from confusion to understanding then finally to anger!

Telling deez nuts jokes is also a great way of breaking the ice when you’re at a party and want people to loosen up. Sometimes, deez nuts jokes don’t make much sense but they’ll make you laugh anyway. Check out these funny deez nuts jokes and see if they will crack you up!

1. Do you like listening to songs by Imagine Dragons?

• Yeah, sure.
• Imagine dragging deez nuts over your head!

I didn’t see where that was headed, but I still love Imagine Dragons!

2. Teacher: In all your subjects I am giving you D’s.

• Student: Well, I am also going to be giving you D’s.
• Teacher: What do you mean?
• Student: Deez nuts!

And that’s how the student got suspended for 3 days.

3. Do you wanna play?

• Play with what?
• Play with deez nuts!

How romantic. Is that how you end your date nights?

4. Hey, I heard that you are a huge fan of Dee.

• Dee who?
• Deez nuts!

And I thought it was Dee Dee from Dexter’s Laboratory!

5. Do you like CDs?

• CDs?
• See deez nuts!

I was talking about music!

6. Do you know Landon?

• Landon who?
• Trip, fall and landon deez nuts!

Be careful! You wouldn’t want to land on someone’s nuts!

7. Do you like parodies?

• Yes.
• How would you like a pair of deez nuts?!

I’d rather watch movie parodies on SNL!

8. You want a pizza?

• Pizza?
• Pizza deez nuts!

Hey, some people want a piece of deez nuts over pizza!

9. Do you like Wendy’s

• Yes.
• Then you’ll love when deez nuts hit your face!

I’d rather have a burger and fries.

10. You need to shut up before you end up like Ken.

• Ken who?
• Can deez nuts fit in your mouth?

Poor Ken! I don’t want to end up like him!

11. Customer: Are your breads freshly baked?

• Baker: Yes.
• Customer: Can I get a sample of something?
• Baker: Sure, what would you like to try?
• Customer: I wonder how deez nuts taste!

That’s one way to be thrown out of a bakery!

12. Have you ever been to Chewons?

• No. What’s Chewons?
• Chew on deez nuts!

That’s not what I was thinking!

13. Did you like the plot of the movie?

• No, we can come up with a better one.
• So you want to come and film deez nuts?!

Who said anything about nuts?

14. Have you ever gone to a trade expo?

• Yes, I love expos.
• Expose deez nuts!

Is there such a thing as a nuts expo? And no, I don’t mean your nuts!

15. Hey, are you hungry or thirsty?

• I’m thirsty/hungry.
• You can have some of deez nuts.

I don’t need nuts. I want to drink water!

16. Did you like One Direction?

• Yes.
• That’s great! The only direction deez nuts are going is in your mouth!

No, thanks! I’m going in the opposite direction! How dare you bring up One Direction?!

17. Do you need to let off steam? Why don’t you beat something?

• What?
• Beat deez nuts!

Can I beat you up instead?

18. How good is your Spanish? What is the ellos/ellas form of the verb sacar?

• Sacan?
• Sacan deez nuts!

That’s a Spanish green mind you have!

19. Guess what Bruce Jenner doesn’t want to have anymore?

• What?
• Deez nutz!

Am I evil for thinking this is funny?

20. I can’t believe they have been together for 40 years!

• Who?
• Deez nuts!

Yes, that’s a good thing! It’s good to have two after all these years.

21. Do you drive a Dodge?

• No.
• Ok. Try dodging deez nuts!

I’m running away now while riding my trusty Toyota.

22. Do you know Kenya?

• Who’s Kenya?
• Kenya fit deez nuts in your mouth?

No, thanks! I don’t want to know about Kenya!

23. Have you seen Barry?

• No.
• Barry deez nuts!

Why don’t you bury your nuts yourself?

24. Tell Eileen.

• Eileen who?
• I’ll lean back so you can see deez nuts!

No need to make the effort!

25. Have you seen Dr. Botha?

• Who’s Dr. Botha?
• Botha deez nuts in your mouth!

That’s what you’d like to see! Keep on dreaming!

Good Deez Nuts Jokes

A lot of deez nuts jokes make use of puns. As long as there are words that sound similar to the words “deez” or “nuts”, many more deez nuts puns will continue to come out.

Remember Phil? As in “Feel deez nuts on your face!”

Remember too that good deez nuts jokes are crude and super annoying! Here are more deez nuts jokes to make you laugh!

1. Go sit on that.

• Sit on what?
• Sit on deez nuts!

Okay, if you say so!

2. Have you met my friend Phillip?

• Phillip who?
• Phillip on deez nuts!

Flipping on deez nuts isn’t what I had in mind!

3. Excuse me but do you like pudding?

• Yes, of course.
• Well, how about pudding deez nuts in your mouth?

That’s not the pudding I was talking about!

4. Do you want candy?

• Yes.
• Can deez nuts hit your face?

Why? Why would you want to do that?

5. Do you like dreaming?

• Yes.
• Dream about deez nuts!

No, I don’t dream about your nuts!

6. Are you leaving?

• Leaving what?
• Leaving deez nuts in your mouth!

I’m walking away now.

7. What’s your favorite brand of donuts?

• I like Dunkin’ Donuts.
• I’ll be dunkin’ deez nuts in your mouth!

I changed my mind. I love Krispy Kreme after all!

👉 Suggested read: Funny Questions to Ask - Conversation Starters

8. Do you like tulips?

• Yes.
• Because you’re going to love your two lips on deez nuts!

No, thanks. I prefer the flowers!

9. What’s 4 x 2?

• Eight
• Eight deez nuts!

I’m not going to eat deez nuts!

10. Do you know Zuko from the animated series, Avatar: The Last AirBender?

• Zuko who?
• Zukon deez nuts!

Where can I watch Avatar?

11. Have you seen Heidi?

• Heidi?
• Yes. Hide deez nuts!

You better hide those nuts when it’s not the right time!

12. How do you say “yes” in Spanish?

• Si.
• See deez nuts!

No habla Ingles! Does not speak English!

13. What’s the acronym for International Pancake House?

• IHOP
• I hop on deez nuts!

Good for you! Hop away now, please!

14. You sound like Phil.

• Phil?
• Feel deez nuts!

No! I’m not going to feel your nuts!

15. Do you guys want some of my goodies?

• Yes!
• Okay, here’s a bag of good deez nuts!

Actually, I just wanted chocolates.

16. Have you gone fishing on tugboats?

• No, but I heard they are powerful.
• Yes, tug on deez nuts!

Tug on them yourself!

17. I think you should be a goblin this halloween.

• A goblin? Why is that?
• Goblin deez nuts!

No, I don’t want to gobble up your nuts!

18. Do you prefer the Yankees or the Red Sox?

• I like the Yankees.
• Yank on deez nuts!

Find someone else to yank on it!

19. What did the zombie say when he prank-called someone?

• What?
• Deez guts!

Can zombies eat deez nuts?

🤓 Suggested read: Top 35 Tasteless Jokes That Make You Laugh

20. Hi, is your name Candice?

• No/Yes.
• Can deez nuts fit in your mouth?

Don’t you dare bring them anywhere near me!

21. Do you know Eaton?

• Eaton who?
• Eaton deez nuts!

Why do I keep falling for it?

22. You need a break.

• Why do I need a break?
• Take a break from deez nuts!

You got me again!

23. How could you?

• What?
• How could you put deez nuts in your mouth?

That’s not what we’re talking about!

24. Hope died.

• What?
• Hope deez nuts can fit in your mouth.

How can you joke about someone dying?!

25. Are you going this afternoon?

• Going where?
• Down on deez nuts!

Aargh! So gross!

👉 Check out more funny puns for inspiration!

List of Deez Nuts Jokes

Can’t get enough of deez nuts jokes? We know. It’s addicting! What’s fun with deez nuts jokes is that you can tell one joke to several people and get varied reactions, or you can also try telling different jokes to the same people.

Just when they think you’re having a normal conversation with them, you trick them into asking a question so that you can deliver your deez nuts punchline! What’s even more hilarious is if they keep falling into your trap every single time!

Try out our list of deez nuts jokes!

1. What do you think about Mandy?

• Who’s Mandy?
• Man, deez nuts look good!

2. Who’s the greatest animator of all time?

• Who?
• Walt Deez Nutz!

3. Have you ever heard about the Russian millionaire Ivan Putindese?

• Ivan Putindese?
• Yes, the Ivan Putin deez nuts!

4. Do you want me to buy one of these?

• Yes. I’m thinking if I should buy more.
• How about two of deez nuts?

5. Do you remember when?

• When what?
• When deez nutz were pressed up against your chin!

6. I need some of these.

• Some of what?
• Some of deez nuts!

7. What bra size are you wearing?

• I’m wearing double D’s. Why do you ask?
• Because I want to get some of deez nuts in there!

8. If 1 plus 1 equals 2, and apple plus sauce equals applesauce, what’s almond plus pistachio?

• What?
• Sum of deez nuts!

9. Can you name a state that starts with a “K” besides Kentucky?

• No, what?
• Have you heard of the state, Kandeeznutsfitinyourmouth?

10. Have you seen the movie, House of D?

• No.
• You better watch House of deez nuts!

11. Who is your favorite DJ?

• I like David Guetta.
• My favorite is DJ Ricky deez nuts!

12. Do you want to see bofa?

• What’s bofa?
• Bofa deez nuts!

13. Do you know anyone named Phil?

• Yes.
• Feel deez nuts!

14. I’m sorry.

• Sorry for what?
• For giving you too much of deez nuts!

15. My back hurts.

• Why?
• From carrying around deez nuts!

16. I know everything.

• Really?
• I know everything about deez nuts!

17. Do you like riding on trains?

• Yes.
• Because you can ride on deez nutz!

18. Hey, do you like Chef Boyardee?

• Who?
• Chef Boy-Are-Deez nuts tasty!

19. You’ll never guess who I saw hanging out together?

• Who?
• Deez nuts!

20. Do you dance to oldies’ music?

• Not really.
• Dance to hold deez nuts!

21. Are you into fitness?

• Yes.
• Fit deez nuts in your mouth!

22. Let me take a bite of your pecan pie.

• No.
• Why don’t you bite deez nuts?

23. Did you hear about Philip?

• What about Philip?
• Philip your mouth with deez nuts!

24. Can I borrow your car?

• Sure.
• Why don’t you borrow deez nuts?

25. Have you tasted Captain Ds?

• No.
• Why don’t you taste deez nuts?

26. Woodja.

• Woodja what?
• Woodja fit both of deez nuts in your mouth?

27. I can’t give you my heart.

• Why not?
• But you can hold deez nuts.

28. Are you going to the funeral?

• No.
• Because deez nuts dropping dead in your mouth.

29. You need to rest.

• Okay.
• Rest on deez nuts!

30. Why is C afraid of D?

• Why?
• Because deez nuts!

31. Do you like the music of Enya?

• No.
• How would you like to see deez nuts Enya mouth?

32. Do you know Putin?

• Yes.
• Putin deez nuts in your mouth!

Are your friends the types who see a joke’s punchline coming a mile away? Or do they always become victims of deez nuts jokes? Don’t worry. Sometimes, jokes can feel like riddles. If people think too hard, they won’t get it but if they think less, they might just get it!

👉 Test your friends and make them laugh with our list of fun riddles!